IT
TOOK HIS DEATH
TO
LEARN ABOUT HIS
LIFE
I started to realise as we turned into
Lamb & Hayward just before 2 p.m. and
saw the number of cars. The
Chapel seats 120. More chairs were
brought in and still some had to stand.
Many of them I didn’t even
know. All this for my son. Did I really know him?
He seemed to have
another life which we didn’t know much about. Simon was popular with everyone
he met and touched the lives and hearts of so many people. My brother who took the service said he had
never before seen so many turn up at a graveside.
Apart from family
, relations , and family friends , there were some from Fairlie, Waimate and
Nelson. Also several parts of the north
island as far as Auckland. The manager
of the N.Z.team that went to the World Transplant Games in Canada, flew down
from Auckland for the day so he could go to the funeral . He had only known
Simon a matter of weeks. But in that time Simon had touched his heart so much . Some also
came from Australia. There were also many who could not come and paid
their tribute in other ways. There were
over 50 cards. 12 floral arrangements including
some from England and Australia. And I lost count of the number of phone
calls. Some of his friends put notices in the paper.
Now that the
funeral is all over and we are trying to get back to normal, there are many
people I must thank. But before I do
that , lets take a brief look at Simon. Why was he so well thought of and so
well liked?
Simon has had a
hard life. He has had a great deal of sickness and for most of his life has
been unable to work. He spent almost 9
years on a dialysis machine and finally had a kidney transplant. For three
months, before his transplant, he couldn’t walk and while in hospital was
confined to bed or a wheel chair. But with Simon’s determination he said “I
will not come out of here unless I can walk out the door”. It was thanks to one
nurse who spent a lot of time teaching him to walk again.
I have seen
Simon screaming with pain when it hurt him to stand , lie, or
sit. His bed had to be made up of very
soft pillows. He even asked the doctor, one time, to put him out of his Misery.
He was well known throughout the hospital by doctors and nurses. Many times we almost lost him. But he always
pulled through. If you were to see photos of
Simon when he was very sick, you wouldn’t recognize him. When they gave him a kidney, they
had never done a transplant operation on
anyone so sick. Some doctors said, “No, we can’t give it to Simon, we’ll kill
him.” One said, “We have to take the risk.” He was so sick, they told him he
might not come back.
He almost didn’t. But
again Simon pulled through and it made him a new man. That was eight years ago
and he never had one rejection. It was nothing to do with his kidney that
killed him. It worked to the bitter end.
Simon was very witty and had a dry since of humour. He
also had a few interests.
After his transplant He asked if he could have the flat and
try living on his own. He bought himself a bird , fish and tanks and then a
computer which he became very good at
after taking lessons. He had a car and was good at controlling his money. He
would think before he got anything. He was never late and would never tell a
lie.
I bought Simon a
poker machine for burning designs on wood. He became very good at using it. He
would sit for hours at a time and did some really nice work. Some of it still
lies unfinished in his flat.
Every Wednesday
night he went to ten pin bowling. On Thursdays he would go to the Bower Tavern
for lunch where he met up with his mates.
I didn’t realise there were so many of them. That’s possibly why he
called them mates and didn’t give them names. Some of these mates were the last
ones to speak to Simon and were with him when he collapsed. I would like to thank them for what they did
in attending to Simon , calling an ambulance and contacting us.
Simon will be
sadly missed by a lot of people. He will remain in their memories
for a long time. It doesn’t seem right when I pick up my grandson from kindy.
That was always Simon’s job. He helped me buy a computer and set it up for me.
He was always there when I needed him. Almost 38 years ago, I was told I had a
son. It was the best day of my life. I didn’t give it a thought that almost
four decades later, I was to have the worst week of my life when I had to give
a nod to remove the life support and watch that son die.
But life must
go on.
Simon has no
family of his own. I couldn’t bury him
alone. So I bought a plot deep enough so that some day Audrey
and I can go in with him.
There are
many people I feel I should thank. Maree
for the casket flowers she arranged and very kindly gave. She also provided the daffodils that people
could throw in the grave. Alan Beach from the N.Z. team who came all the way
from Auckland to be a poll bearer and take part in the service. Garden City Bowls had a collection which will
be put towards the head stone. They also
gave a beautifull chrysanthemum and a rose bush called ‘Living Memory’ which
will take a prime spot in my garden. A
big thankyou to Audrey’s cousin in England who sent a sum of money to go towards funeral
expenses. Jumbo Prints for printing
photos of Simon without chargeing.
Another big
thankyou to my brother Ross ,(Simon’s uncle), who came down from Nelson to take
the service. There are also others who
gave cakes and savouries. These were very handy as we had so many people popping
in. A big thanks to the rest of the family, Bev, Steve and Mel. For all the
help they gave before and after the funeral. Also the working bee that put my
garden back in order.
Anyone else
who took part in the service or helped in any other way. The cards , flowers ,
paper notices . A big thankyou to you all.
But most of all, I would like to thank all those who came to the
funeral. Just by being there helped make it a day we will never forget.
21st birthday Very sick
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